How being a parent is exactly like living in a constant frat party.
*Not my image. It is from National Lampoon's Animal House
Kids are messy, that's just a fact of life. If your kids aren't messy, those aren't kids, they're robots and could very well be planning to I, Robot you. (Kidding.) (Sort of.)
For sure some kids are messier than others (MINE), but all kids are messy sometimes. That's part of the "fun" of parenting right? (absolutely not) It's been argued and debated over and over whether or not boys are messier than girls. I grew up with 2 sisters, and now have 2 boys. It's a toss up. One thing is for absolute certain though... Having kids is exactly like a frat party at your house 24/7, with less booze. (Ha, who are we kidding, probably more. Cheers!)
- You wake up with people in your bed that weren't there when you went to sleep, and you're not entirely sure how they got there. Hell, you may not even know them.
- PUKE. Lots and lots of puke. All the time.
- Half filled cups everywhere. Except instead of solo cups and beer, it's sippy cups and milk.
- Things get broken a lot. Constantly actually. You'll never have nice things again. Well, not for a long, long time anyways.
- There are always things being thrown. Balls. Clothes. People. Hence why things are always broken.
- Fights. Whether they are alcohol induced, or just sibling rivalry, they are bound to happen.
- Bodily fluids. Especially with boys, there is pee EVERYWHERE. They somehow always manage to miss the toilet. Our pig has been peed on. AND painted - But thats for another time.
Don't even get me started on feces or else I'll tell you how fun it is to potty train a boy who thinks he's ready to wipe his own butt. (He's not!) How does this one apply to frat parties? That much alcohol and someone is bound to sh*t their pants or wiz on something, or someone.
-Farts. Farts are always funny. The louder the better. Go ahead and count burps in too.
- No ones ever wearing clothes. Or real ones at least. Maybe it's a toga, maybe it's a Halloween costume from 3 years ago thats entirely too small, either way it's probably not clean and there's a good chance they've been wearing it a few days.
- Smells. What in God's name is that smell? And where the heck is it coming from?! Chances are you don't want to know. Just burn the area and start over.
With 2 boys, a husky, and a pig, I can tell you that my house is constantly like this. Whether you have toddlers or teenagers, I'm sure that you can relate on some level. The truth is we are all living in frat houses inhabited by the tiny humans we created, adopted, or otherwise inherited. You can't deny the uncanny similarities between being a parent, and wild college parties. We just like the attendees a little more, and have better booze now. Here's to surviving 18+ years of the wildest party you'll ever have. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Side bar: If your house isn't anything like this (liar), then make room because I'm moving in.